How to attract the work
you love
May, 2007
By Craig Nathanson
The Vocational Coach
First, decide what you want! Yes, it’s that easy and
that hard. What do you love to do?
Decorate a house, take pictures, teach children or work with
the elderly?
Do you approve?
Once we figure out what we love to do, many of us make the
fatal mistake; we ask someone else for approval.
You will never get final approval from someone else
Even if you get the approval from someone else, their approval
will be conditional. Permission to do the work you love must
come from you. Let’s go down the list.
- Your spouse will be the first to say “No” because
he or she will feel intimated by your change of heart and
life.
- Your kids probably won’t approve or understand much.
- Your boss? Well, you know the answer here.
- Your parents? Of course not. After all, you are a product
of their belief system and you must not do something they
would not do. I must add that if your parents are no longer
living, obviously you won’t be able to get the approval
you are seeking.
- Your close friends might approve, but only if they have
worked out their own vocational happiness. If not, they will
worry how the changes in your life will affect their relationship
with you.
- Strangers might give you permission, especially those you
share deep conversations with on an airplane, but then you
will never have to see them again.
Are there exceptions?
Maybe, if you are lucky, you will have someone supportive in
your life. Sadly, all too often, I have seen people’s
dreams rejected by the very people they thought they could count
on for support
Society doesn’t help
The standard notion is that we work at jobs that lead to careers
so we can retire, and then, if we’re lucky, do what we
enjoy. This idea is outdated and illogical.
Skip the retirement part
A recent guest on my show, Monica Lee, picked up a paintbrush
for the first time at age 40. Not long after that she was transferring
her thoughts and feelings to canvas and selling her paintings
worldwide. With maturity she realized that it was of little
importance how others perceived her work. Instead, what really
mattered was how much she enjoyed putting color and form on
canvas.
When Monica opened her own gallery, the uncertainty of making
ends meet each month led her to sleep in the back of the gallery
in a makeshift bed. She showered under a garden hose and laundered
her clothes by hand while she rented out her home to others
to supplement her income as an artist.
Years later, the challenge of cancer came and went, and her
work helped carry her through the difficult times. Today, at
nearly 60, her art work, under the name MoVan, sells all over
the world and Monica says she has never been happier.
What if you quit or got fired today?
How long could you go before making any money? One month, six
months, a year?
Are you willing to cash in other resources now to extend your
time? If so, now how much more time will you have? After forty,
we need more time rather than more money.
Once you start making an income, this time doing what you love,
how much do you really need to make?
Make it less than you are making in your corporate
job
To pursue the work they love, many people decide they must
make what they made before. This is a flawed strategy. When
your vocational passion takes you in the direction of working
for yourself or others, it usually means starting out making
25-30% less than what you made before.
Have you turned your back yet?
Not yet? Good — let’s summarize what we have done
thus far.
You figured out what you want to do, you’ve given yourself
approval and you’ve identified how long you could go without
making an income. What’s next? Well, these are the hurdles
that stop most people.
Next — Take action!
Visit, read about, and meet other people who make an income
doing what you want to do. They have already jumped over the
hurdles you will encounter soon, and they can provide valuable
insight you will need for your journey.
Get ready to be lonely
Pursuing what you love to do vs. accepting “just”
a job will be very lonely. In fact, this will be the loneliest
road you will ever be on. It’s a lonely road because there
are very few people on it. You meet a few rebels, a few middle-age
run-aways and, from time to time, a younger person who learned
early not to waste his life with empty, meaningless jobs like
his parents did before him.
Better to join the rat race?
Ever wonder why the terms we have for work have so many negative
meanings?
- Rat race (something we have to do, like rats on a wheel),
- Career or fast track (can’t slow down to enjoy it)
- Re-tire (“slow down” + “get ready to
tire”)
These certainly don’t help to motivate us to swim against
the tide and do something different.
What happens in mid-life?
A crisis will hit sometime after age 35 or so. Our crises come
in different shapes and sizes and it is normal to have one,
or even more than one. You might get divorced, have to deal
with a sudden death in the family, a layoff, or a serious illness.
In many cases, none of these occur but suddenly you’re
confronted with a deep sadness, and you wonder, “Is this
all there is?” You feel empty inside.
What you must do?
Many people at this stage, especially those over forty, simply
turn back before reaching their dreams. The risks and tradeoffs
we have to make to pursue our dreams just seem too impractical
at this stage in our lives. So many people at this stage simply
take a job and postpone the next phase of their life for ten
years, or more, or even forever!
You can be different!
You can attract the work you love by figuring out what you
want, giving yourself permission to pursue it, and making a
plan to pursue it.
This will be the greatest gift you ever give yourself and, once
you do, you will never look back.
As always, I’ll be cheering you on as you go!
Craig Nathanson
Craig Nathanson is the author of P Is For Perfect: Your Perfect
Vocational Day
and a coaching expert who works with people over forty. Craig’s
new E-book,
Discover and live your passion 365 days a year
is a workshop in a box designed
to help busy adults go insane with their work. Craig’s
systematic approach,
the trademark "Ten P" process,’’ helps
people break free and move toward the
work they love. Visit Craig’s online community at www.thevocationalcoach.com
where you can take a class, get more ideas through Craig Nathanson’s
books
and CD’s, get some private coaching over the phone or
read other stories of
mid-life change and renewal.
Craig lives in San Anselmo, California. You can reach him at
415-457-0550 or at craig@thevocationalcoach.com.
Craig's Vocational Passion Newsletters are edited by Anita
Flegg at The Sharp Quill. The Sharp Quill -- www.sharpquill.com
-- specializes in writing and editing for small business. You
can see Anita's vocational story at http://www.thevocationalcoach.com/_vocational_community/_real_stories/story_anita.html
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